Raising a family out of the "village"

Cherry and I have been married for 8 years and all that time, we've lived outside of the Philippines, where our nuclear family still are (parents, siblings). We started our life together in Bangkok, Thailand, then moved to Singapore, back to Bangkok, and 2 years ago, Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. The kids were born in Singapore, and have lived in 3 countries since then.

We are both from close knit families, raised by loving parents and surrounded by a big group of siblings (not to mention aunts/uncles, cousins, and grandparents). Needless to say, when we first had Gabby, it was pretty much "learn as you go parenting", since we were already in singapore, and did not have the benefit of our own parents' guidance.

In this regard, I must really salute Cherry. When she first left Manila, she probably did not even know how to cook, let alone raise a child. But her mother instinct kicked in immediately. And from Gabby's day 1, we decided that we wanted to raise our kids as "open, children of the world", and expose them to as many experiences as possible, which has its plus and minuses.

For instance, even at a young age, we have tried as much as possible to bring Gabby and Dani on trips - either to new countries or discovering new places in our adopted countries. Gabby was able to see snow in New Zealand or see up close her roots in China; while Dani has had her hair braided in Bali. But more than these, we also try to expose them to different cultures, and show them that whatever differences there maybe in terms of skin color, language, religion, there are more similarities among people than differences. It also helps that they go to an international school, so their friends come from all over the world.

Secondly, we also consciously try to spend more time with the kids - which really means that weekends, I decide not to play golf. (Actually, it's really more to compensate since I come home late during weekdays). We eat out every weekend, even simple meals, and go to malls or parks. and we take them to Church.

But living outside of the "village", without the help of our "elders" also has its downside. Especially when the kids get sick (Oh no, quick, sms papa or achie Francy, who are both doctors). And I'm sure they are also recipients of our "parenting by experimentation" (how do you discipline a kid; what's the right food to give them).

All in all, I believe that raising a family has been and continues to be a great journey.

Edwin